Just venting.

So. Our AS president was stabbed in a hate crime this weekend (he is, physically at least, okay) after a few weeks of rising racial tensions in the community. People are outraged; there was a forum; etc. I was fucking angry when I heard the news last night, but not surprised. What a privileged position, to be surprised by hate crimes! In any case, clearly there needs to be a response. An intervention. But what? A short-lived awareness campaign and more forums aren't going to help much. Broader systemic solutions are needed... but are they plausible?

This morning I helped my first client at Safe Place. I see my couple tomorrow for class and things are starting to pick up at 6th Street. This in conjunction with the questions raised by the hate crime has resulted in one of those classic days of helping profession anguish. I see an endless parade of clients in front of me who are living out the symptoms of our sick society, and to what end? Societal change is fucking slow and will never come close to reaching our ideal. (Sure, we have people working tirelessly for our goals. But I have little faith in the motives of people in positions of power and influence. Once you get out of the trenches, compromises must be made at every level, and once it reaches the top, so to speak, what the fuck does it mean anymore?) So we keep absorbing the trauma of our clients and loved ones while feeling powerless to eradicate the source. Not to mention our own experiences of trauma and oppression, and the added stress of potential triggers every hour of the workday.

There are other, more productive ways to frame this and I'm usually more optimistic (idealistic?) than I am today. But I am new to all of this and it's fucking overwhelming sometimes. I suspect that I will get better at processing these ideas with time. I won't allow myself to succumb to burnout or apathy, that's for sure.